06 Family Law Attorney
What is it Like Being a Family Law Attorney
On this episode of the Unboxing Careers Podcast, we unbox the career of a family law attorney.
Guest: Jonathan D. Steele is a seasoned family law attorney and Partner at Beermann LLP, renowned for his robust approach in managing sensitive family law matters such as divorce, child custody, and paternity. He has been recognized as one of the top 10 lawyers under 40 by the American Institute of Family Law Attorneys and one of the top 10 family law attorneys under 40 by the National Academy of Family Law Attorneys.
Jonathan at Beermann LLP
More ways to connect with Jonathan Steele
What Does a Family Law Attorney Do?
A family law attorney works on legal issues that affect families and relationships, including divorce cases, paternity cases, prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, and protective orders involving safety concerns.
What makes family law unique is that the issues are deeply personal. These cases involve people’s kids, finances, homes, and security. That means clients are often stressed, emotional, or overwhelmed when they walk into your office. As a lawyer in this field, you are stepping into one of the most intense chapters of someone’s life.
Family law attorneys may handle:
Divorce and property division
Paternity disputes
Prenuptial and postnuptial agreements
Orders of protection and stalking orders
Child-related legal disputes
Litigation versus mediation
Another important distinction is how cases are resolved. Some follow a litigation path, which means court hearings, formal arguments, and sometimes full trials. Others may go through mediation or collaborative processes where both sides attempt to reach agreements without fighting everything in front of a judge.
In this conversation, the work leans heavily toward litigation. That means spending time persuading judges, presenting evidence, and thinking on your feet. If you are in high school and you enjoy structured debate, strategy, or competition, litigation might appeal to you. If you prefer negotiation and compromise, mediation-focused work may feel like a better fit.
In family law, you may find yourself:
Arguing motions in court
Preparing for trial
Negotiating settlements
Balancing strategy with emotional realities
What Is a Typical Day Like for a Family Law Attorney?
There is no single “normal” day, but there is a rhythm to the work.
Mornings in court
Most days begin in court around 9:00 or 9:30 in the morning. That could mean being physically present in a courtroom or appearing virtually. It is common to have at least one hearing, and sometimes multiple appearances in the same morning.
Technology has changed logistics. Virtual court can make it easier to attend different hearings without physically running between courtrooms. However, the responsibility and preparation remain the same. Even short appearances require focus and readiness.
Morning responsibilities often include:
Court hearings
Status updates before a judge
Arguing motions
Managing multiple cases in one session
Afternoons in the office
After court, the day often shifts back to the office. This is where much of the real work happens behind the scenes. Drafting documents, researching case law, preparing for upcoming hearings, and meeting with clients fill the afternoon schedule.
If you are in college and imagining a lawyer’s life as nonstop courtroom drama, this is important to understand. Much of the job involves preparation, writing, and reading. Court may be the visible part, but preparation drives success.
Afternoon work typically involves:
Client meetings
Drafting motions and agreements
Reviewing case law and rules
Preparing trial materials
Trial weeks change everything
When a trial begins, the schedule becomes intense. Trials can run 9:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., five days a week, sometimes for multiple weeks. During those periods, the case takes priority over almost everything else.
If you are thinking about becoming a lawyer, understand that trial mode requires stamina and focus. It is rewarding, but it demands long hours and mental endurance.
During trial periods, expect:
Full-day courtroom sessions
Heavy preparation before and after court
Limited flexibility in scheduling
Increased stress and responsibility
Is There Work-Life Balance in Law?
Work-life balance in law can be complicated. Clients often want immediate responses, even late at night or on weekends. In family law especially, clients are dealing with urgent and emotional matters. That urgency can make it difficult to completely disconnect.
If you are in high school or college, this is a realistic part of the profession to consider. Law is not always a 9-to-5 job. It requires mental presence even outside traditional hours.
Challenges include:
After-hours emails and texts
Emotional urgency from clients
Preparing for court outside office hours
Difficulty fully “turning off” work mode
Associate versus partner responsibilities
As you move from associate to partner, your responsibilities shift. Associates tend to focus heavily on research and drafting. Partners still handle legal work but are also expected to generate business and bring in clients.
That means career growth in law includes business development. You are not only practicing law, but you are helping grow the firm.
Career progression often adds:
Client origination expectations
Revenue goals
Networking responsibilities
Greater leadership pressure
The Emotional Side of Family Law
Divorce can be heavy. Disputes involving children or personal safety carry serious consequences. Even when you win a case, the emotional weight can linger because the outcomes affect real families long-term.
If you are in high school and considering this path, you need to know this is not just about arguing. It is about navigating highly emotional situations while staying composed and strategic.
Family law can involve:
Custody conflicts
Safety concerns
Deep personal disagreements
Long-term consequences for children
Knowing your role as a lawyer
Lawyers are not therapists, even though clients sometimes need emotional support. One important professional skill is recognizing when to connect clients to therapists, life coaches, or other support systems.
Understanding your lane protects both the client and your own mental health. You are there to provide legal guidance, not to carry every emotional burden alone.
Professional boundaries may include:
Referring clients to therapists
Staying focused on legal strategy
Maintaining emotional steadiness
Avoiding personal entanglement in conflict
What Should High School Students Do If They Want to Become Lawyers?
A major insight from this episode is that litigation is partly about presentation. Debate clubs, public speaking courses, theater programs, and improv classes can all strengthen skills that translate directly into the courtroom.
If you are in high school, this is actionable right now. Even if public speaking makes you nervous, that discomfort is part of growth. Confidence develops through repetition.
Strong preparation activities include:
Debate team participation
Theater or improv programs
Public speaking courses
Persuasive writing practice
Do not let nervousness stop you
Even experienced litigators feel nervous. Nervous energy can sharpen focus and improve performance. If you try public speaking once and feel uncomfortable, that does not mean law is not for you.
There are also many types of legal work. Some lawyers focus on research and drafting rather than courtroom arguments. Trying different activities helps you discover where you fit.
In high school, you can:
Experiment with different speaking environments
Practice thinking on your feet
Develop comfort with structured argument
Strengthen your writing skills
What Should College and Law School Students Focus On?
Certain subjects can build skills useful in law. Criminal justice courses help you understand how the court system operates. Psychology courses can help you better understand behavior and motivation, which is valuable in cross-examination and client interaction.
If you are in college, you do not have to wait until law school to start preparing.
Helpful academic areas include:
Criminal justice
Psychology
Writing-intensive courses
Critical thinking and analysis classes
Gain hands-on experience early
One of the strongest advantages described is early exposure to real legal work. Clerkships, externships, legal clinics, and mentorship relationships provide practical knowledge that classrooms alone cannot replicate.
Mock trial is also highlighted as extremely valuable. It gives you a low-risk environment to test litigation skills and receive feedback from practicing attorneys and judges.
College and law school students should pursue:
Clerkships with law firms
Externships with judges
Legal clinic volunteering
Mock trial competitions
Meaningful mentorship relationships
What Makes a Strong Young Lawyer?
Work ethic and professionalism
From a hiring perspective, work ethic stands out. Employers are looking for candidates willing to put in time and effort, especially early in their careers. Professional attitude during interviews and internships can matter just as much as grades.
If you are in law school, focus on demonstrating curiosity, commitment, and reliability.
Employers value:
Willingness to learn
Strong professional conduct
Initiative
Commitment to growth
Writing and research skills matter deeply
Writing ability is repeatedly emphasized as a major separator between strong and average associates. Drafting motions clearly and persuasively is central to legal practice. Research skills, including familiarity with tools like Westlaw and LexisNexis, are equally important.
If you are still in school, take every writing assignment seriously. The skill will follow you into your career.
Core professional skills include:
Clear legal writing
Effective legal research
Understanding procedural rules
Attention to detail
What Personality Traits Help Lawyers Succeed?
There is no single personality type that guarantees success. However, certain traits are especially helpful. Confidence can be developed over time. It grows as you gain experience and take on challenges like depositions and hearings. Respect is essential. You only get one first impression with judges, clients, and other attorneys. Being professional, even in heated situations, can define your reputation.
Important Traits in Law
Confident communication
Calm under pressure
Willingness to take on new challenges
Ability to recover from mistakes
Respect and reputation
Respectfulness and honesty shape long-term reputation. Judges, opposing counsel, and employers remember how you behave. There is a balance between being assertive and being overly aggressive.
If you are in high school, begin practicing professional communication now. How you treat people matters in every field.
Professional character traits include:
Respectful communication
Ethical conduct
Balanced assertiveness
Professional judgment
Confidence and composure
Confidence plays a major role in courtroom performance. Presentation influences how arguments are received. Confidence grows with experience, especially through first-time tasks like depositions and hearings.
Common Misconceptions About Lawyers
Many people believe lawyers only care about money. While there are always exceptions in any field, most attorneys enter the profession to help people. In family law especially, attorneys guide clients through some of the hardest moments of their lives. The work can be meaningful and impactful.
Another misconception is that lawyers are cold or humorless. In reality, many attorneys deeply enjoy their work and find fulfillment in solving complex problems.
What Lawyers Wish They Knew Sooner
One surprising insight is that law school teaches you how to think like a lawyer, but not always how to run a legal business.
Skills that are often learned later include:
Marketing
Building a book of business
Networking
Managing client relationships
If you are in college, consider taking electives in marketing or business. These skills can give you a serious edge later.
Final Thoughts for Future Lawyers
If you are in high school, start building skills that force you to speak, write, and think clearly. If you are in college, seek real-world exposure to legal environments. If you are in law school, focus on writing, research, and mentorship.
Law is demanding. It can require long hours and emotional stamina. But if you genuinely enjoy problem-solving, persuasion, and helping people through difficult moments, it can be deeply fulfilling.
You do not need to have your entire future mapped out today. Take the next step, try new experiences, and let your confidence grow through action.
FAQs About Becoming a Family Law Attorney
How long does it take to become a family law attorney?
You must complete a four-year undergraduate degree, attend law school for three years, and pass the bar exam. Gaining hands-on experience through clerkships or internships during that time can make the transition into practice smoother.
Do family law attorneys spend all their time in court?
No. While some attorneys focus heavily on litigation, they also spend significant time drafting documents, researching law, meeting clients, and preparing for hearings or trials. Many cases are resolved through mediation instead of trial.
Is family law emotionally difficult?
Yes, it can be. Divorce and custody cases involve personal and emotional issues. Successful attorneys learn to stay steady, professional, and supportive while encouraging clients to seek outside emotional support when needed.
Do you have to be outgoing to become a lawyer?
Not necessarily. While public speaking skills are helpful, there are many areas of law that focus more on research and drafting. Confidence and professionalism matter more than being naturally outgoing.
What is the most important skill for a future lawyer?
Strong writing skills are critical. The ability to clearly and persuasively present arguments in writing often separates strong lawyers from average ones.
Family Law Career at a Glance
Family law attorneys handle a range of cases, including divorce, paternity, and prenuptial agreements.
Lawyers spend a significant amount of time in court, either physically or virtually.
Skills such as public speaking, writing, and research are crucial for success in the legal profession.
Confidence and respect are important personality traits for lawyers.
Misconceptions about lawyers include the belief that they are solely focused on making money and that they don't care about their clients.
Building a strong network and developing marketing skills are essential for lawyers.
Maintaining a professional online presence, particularly on LinkedIn, is important for career advancement.
Finding a career that you love and are passionate about is key to long-term happiness and success.
Other legal and public service careers
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